Saturday, November 01, 2003
I really do love being at home but I realized that it is definitely not condusive towards doing work. You think that there are a lot of distractions living in the dorms, but no way, home is way worse for me.
Friday: I originally planned on catching up on reading but decided to take it off since I was exhausted from midterms. I was also in charge of candy patrol for Halloween but since it rained, we had a whooping 6 kids at the door though. It was really cute though when this one group of kids came to the door and asked if I went to UCLA since I had my sweatshirt on. I said yes and they were like "Wow, you must be really smart, my mom went there!!" My friend who I was talking to later said that I should have told them that I was a USC student dressing up as someone smart. :) So yeah, Friday = No work done.
Saturday: "Slept-in" until 9 AM. Yes, that's sleeping in for me since my body has been so conditioned to wake up at 7:30 AM everyday. After breakfast and all that I started to read a little bit of my Watergate book for my poli sci midterm on Monday. However, that was shortly interrupted since I had an optomitrist appointment, which is why I went home in the first place. Finally put in the new order of contacts since I'm down to my last pair and I got a new spiffy pair of glasses that make me look smart because my last pair broke. Came back, at lunch, watched UCLA play at Stanford, fell asleep, woke up and watched the end of the game where we lost. That was followed by a trip to Costco with mom and then dinner at Rattlers. SO MUCH FOOD it was a little disturbing. We all ate ourselves into a food coma and brought so much back that it looks like we were carrying out take-out as oppose to our leftovers. Here I am where I hope to get work done tonight before heading back to UCLA tomorrow. So yeah Saturday = Minimal work done admist eating, sleeping, and football.
On a final sidenote, my friend at UCLA helped do research on the physiological reaction to social rejection. Read more here: http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/10/09/ego.pain.ap/
No wonder all of us have such a great fear of rejection.
posted by Kristina |
9:04 PM
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Friday, October 31, 2003
What a long long week this has been. It's been quite an emotional rollercoaster with the fire and so exhausting and busy with midterms and school work, that as you can tell all I had time to write in my blog yesterday was lieto fine. I actually just put it there because it was going to be the "theme" of my entry yesterday but I had to study for my Vietnamese midterm so I never got around to finishing it so I'll do it now.
I'm one of those people who immediately has to go look up answers in her notebook to check to see if she got them right on the test as soon as she walks out of the room. I shall forever remember the term lieto fine because it's an italian term that was extra credit on the midterm that I forgot (bah, I hate when I know what it is but can't recall it on a test! Oh well, extra credit). Anyway, the term more importantly seemed fitting yesterday because it describes what happens in operas when after the tragedy, there is a happy ending that gives hope and a moral to the story. Some might call this cheesy now but it was actually a controversial way to end an opera in the 18th century. But like I was saying before, it was fitting for yesterday and the end of this week in general. Yesterday morning when I woke up there was rain. What a Godsend! Some could seem luminous rain clouds as a bad omen before I went off to take my midterm but it was actually the opposite. I had already received word back home that things with the fire were getting much better and I knew rain and cold weather down at UCLA probably meant much better weather around Southern California in general and I was right. The weather helped fires all over and it basically contained the fire up in Stevenson Ranch so there is no more threat. Moreover, they said that Stevenson Ranch probably won't even have to worry about another fire for another 10-15 years. Wonderful wonderful news. As long as there's not too much rain to create mudslides, then the rain is great since it helps wash out the air. Thursday afternoon, after I got out of my Mozart midterm, which was hard but I think I did pretty well, the air was bright blue again because all of the ash was washed out. It was cold and brisk yet also sunny: BEST WEATHER EVER!
Wow, my moods can change pretty quickly. I swear I'm not bipolar or manic or anything else which would consititute me seeing a therapist. It's just that after that big scare with the fire in the middle of the week, everything's turned a complete 180. I got my Mozart journals back, got full credit, and the professor even asked if she could copy some of my entries to use for examples. That was very cool. Also, thanks to my Vietnamese professor letting us design our own midterm, I think I probably got +100% without really studying all that much. He has this theory that if we have the potential to get a lot of points it will motivate us to study more. The rest of my class probably did but I think I knew a lot more than I thought so I got all but 3 questions, not bad. Too bad I can't speak it but that's another story. Finally, one of the best endings of this week is finally being able to be at home again. This is the first time I've been home since school started and this weekend was planned to be my homecoming weeks ago, long before I ever know what would have occurred back here. Not going back for a while and everything else that went on made me realize how good it is to be back here with my family. I helped my mom cook dinner and I couldn't have been happier to have a home cooked dinner. Then my dad and brother joined us and we all ate together. Definitely lieto fine.
posted by Kristina |
7:26 PM
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Thursday, October 30, 2003
lieto fine
http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~kpdoan
My midterm study break project which actually turned out to be more stressful than the actual studying since I'm so computer inept.
posted by Kristina |
10:50 PM
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Wednesday, October 29, 2003
From today's Daily Bruin. Usually the staff editorial is ultra liberal ranting, even a little too liberal for my liking and that says a lot. However, I actually liked today's editorial. Considering that my mind's been in a million different places for the past two days, this expresses what I would like to say much more eloquently than I could put into words at the moment.
Fires remind us of life’s true priorities, by the Daily Bruin Editorial Board
As fires sweep across Southern California, members of the UCLA community should take the time to put their lives – and this tragedy – into perspective.
So far, the fires have killed at least 17 people and destroyed well over 1,500 homes, making these among the worst fires the state has ever seen. By the time the flames are extinguished, the disaster may be the most expensive in state history.
These fires rage as most students are worrying about studying for midterms and receiving good grades. But some students have much more to worry about – some have had their family homes burned to the ground, while many others are still waiting to see where the winds will turn. As nerve-wracking as midterms can seem, the thought of losing one's home and possessions is unimaginably worse.
Those who know their houses and families are secure should comfort their friends who may be facing numerous obstacles in the aftermath of the fires. And those who must worry about their homes while trying to study for tests should prioritize lending support to their families.
Thankfully, the federal government has recognized the significant impact these fires are having, and has declared a state of emergency in four Southern California counties. This allows federal relief agencies to help cover the enormous costs associated with fighting the fires and rebuilding after them. Lifting this burden off California taxpayers will not erase the emotional and personal losses, but it will help the state recover more quickly – so far, Gov. Gray Davis has estimated the fires will cost over $2 billion.
Natural disasters remind us how fragile and unpredictable life can be, and how weak our technology is compared to natural forces. In a region defined by towering skyscrapers and urban sprawl, we are still occasionally reminded of our true vulnerability. Here at UCLA, we are physically safe, but that cannot make us complacent or uncaring of what exists around us – especially when the events are so tragic.
For the past three days, we have all woken up to hazy, twilight skies. If nothing else, the soot-filled skies should make us think – we are lucky if all we have to worry about are midterms or parties or where to buy groceries. Here at UCLA, we are taught to be leaders, but sometimes it is hard to understand where we belong – especially now.
Sometimes, it is impossible to directly impact events, especially events as large and diffuse as the current fires. But that does not mean students should not care – caring is a crucial first step to making a difference.
While receiving horrible scores on tests for which students spent countless hours studying may seem like the end of the world, students should put their disappointment into perspective. The world beyond the protective brick walls of UCLA is literally burning down, and worrying about losing that high grade point average isn't as important as worrying about friends who are losing their homes.
posted by Kristina |
11:53 PM
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Tuesday, October 28, 2003
I really don't know what to say. There are so many emotions going through my head right now that I've kind of just been sitting here in a daze for a good part of today. Where do I even start? My house might burn down.
Today has to be one of the most emotionally draining days that I've had. I'm not exactly sure when it hit me or when, it's all kind of a daze, but the Simi Valley Fire is near my home. I think I mentioned this yesterday but the brevity of it didn't hit me until today. I called home and they can see the huge flames from our driveway and there are two firetrucks on our street. Apparently everything is covered in ash and they started voluntary evacuations on my street. A couple blocks up they are doing mandatory evacuations and news cameras are packed in Stevenson Ranch getting coverage.
Every channel I turn to I see Stevenson Ranch. I think that's when I lost it. I can imagine the ash and the air but it wasn't until I saw the huge flames on the tv screen that it hit me how real it is and how bad the fire is. Channel 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11...Stevenson Ranch, Stevenson Ranch, Stevenson Ranch, etc. I knew it was bad and that it caused a great deal of damage all over southern California but it doesn't truly hit you until you see news reporters a few streets above your house reporting with embers falling from the sky and tongues of flames in the background.
I really wish I could wake up and that this would all be a bad dream. We have brush fires every year but you always picture it burning rural fields or being far away. I could have never imagined them burning the mountain on which I live. All that keeps running through my head is some book we read in 8th grade about Flash Fires. It's so close. Like when they said it was approaching Santa Clarita that was pretty scary but to hear them actually say Stevenson Ranch, a small subsection on the outskirts of Santa Clarita, it makes it real. Two guys were passing by our door and saying that "they're evacuating Stevenson Ranch, where's that?" and I said that's where I live. I don't even know if this is making sense since my head is so clouted right now.
First time I've cried at school, I just couldn't hold it back anymore. It's material I know but to lose your home...it's home. I tried to put it in perspective in my head that it's just a building and what really matters is that my family is ok but it's where I grew up. Possessions may hold memories, memories that they can't take away from you, but just the thought of restarting or not having a place to go back to. I'm really trying to stay optimistic and the reports are looking better but I can still hear my brother asking me what I want saved in my room incase they do have to leave. You know, it's one of those questions that you always hear, "If you could only take one thing with you if your house burned down what would it be?" It's the hypothetical question you never thought you would actually hear, or never actually wanted to hear. So most of our stuff is packed up and in the car ready to go the minute they say mandatory evacuation but let's hope that won't happen. It just makes it so real. The fact that my brother said that he packed up my yearbooks makes it real because those are the small little things that you would only pack if you thought there was a real threat. They're packing everything, it's real. ARGH.
I just really wanted to thank everyone who's been there for me, especially since I've been somewhat stubborn. I'm so used to being the advice giver and now I finally understand how hard it is to be that person taking the advice. People were trying to help me be optimistic and the flurry of emotions in my mind just shut a lot of it out at the beginning but now that I've let my anger/sadness/confusion run it's course and I've vented I'm better now. It really meant a lot for people who called me or left me messages, it really did. Honestly, I wouldn't know what to say to me. The support hasn't been surprising because my family and I are blessed to know wonderful people, but it's really comforting nonetheless. My mom told me that friends from around the valley offered to drive over with their trucks and SUVs and move anything from our house to theirs if we needed it and everyone's just checking in to see if they're ok.
Most importantly, I would like to thank everyone for keeping my family, home, community, and California in general in their prayers. I think people, and especially very controlling people like me, have a really hard time just letting go and realizing that God will take care of things. In your mind all you can think of is why could He let something like this happen but like I tell people almost every other day when I am the advisor instead of the advisee, everything happens for a reason. It's not over yet but I have already learned a tremendous amount. It's scary and sad and it's alright to feel those emotions but I have faith that everything will turn out alright.
posted by Kristina |
11:58 PM
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Monday, October 27, 2003
Last night at dinner we were talking about the differences between living in California and other states. While I have mentioned wanting to the East Coast (especially after the recall election), the state on the whole has been good to me and I can't complain that much. I really do think we take advantage of the greatness of this state and life here in general. It's a simple generalization that has many flaws, but Californians do seem to live the higher life than many other states. Yes there are inner cities and rural areas but the cost of living here is astronomically high compared to most states. Yet these material possessions can go as fast as they come.
California's on fire and it's kind of scary. I don't really know what else to say. It happens every year but I guess we thought we escaped it this year since wildfire season generally is during the summer and not the fall so it caught us all offgaurd. The sky has been in a complete orange haze from the ashes here at UCLA and we must be a good hour from the nearest fire. The skies and the winds are hot and I heard that the Santa Ana winds were getting up to 70 MPH, which definitely does not help the containment effort. Apparently back home, they had to evacuate Magic Mountain and the air over there is even worse. Freeways and some airports are closed because of the fire and Monday Night Football had to be moved from San Diego because they're using the stadium as a shelter for people who lost their homes. My RA just came back from her house in San Diego and she said that 150 homes in her community were lost. I can't even possibly imagine what it would be like to lose everything in a fire; and more so to lose someone. I kind of feel helpless here at UCLA because I know there's fires somewhere around my neighborhood but not how far away exactly they are. Correction: this isn't kind of scary, this IS scary.
Originally I was going to go off on a rant about people's priorities. My friend in Michigan didn't know anything about these fires because the main story on MSN.com news yesterday was about horror movies. It just seemed to parallel this summer when no one knew about thousands of people in Paris dying due to the heatwave because they were more infatuated with the Terminator and a porn star running for governor. However, I decided to hold back on the rant today because there's no point in getting mad at people. Society does have flaws because I can't expect everyone to have the same exact priorities. Sure I get frustrated when people don't know anything about our govnerment but I'm sure someone could tell me to spend less looking up football stats and pay more attention to International news. If we all cared about the same things, everyone would be exactly alike and that kind of world wouldn't be great either. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this but things such as the fires and the recent bombing that killed 10 people in Iraq happen everyday and yes, they're depressing. However, it never hurts to be aware of life outside of your bubble to help you realize how you can help others or even simply remind you of how fortunate you are.
posted by Kristina |
4:08 PM
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Sunday, October 26, 2003
What I learned this weekend in chronological order:
*I love my SAA committee. I loved my commmittee last year but my personality is so much more fitting in Career Network. They definitely made the time pass by much more quickly while we were sitting out in the cold. Sarcastic humor rocks.
*UCLA is one big wonderful family. The homecoming parade and rally were so much fun and it was great to see how much pride people have in our school. In the words of SAA: amazing!
*Nothing helps wind down a day quite like having Norah Jones playing in the background.
*When you hear someone knocking on your door at 3AM, get it.
*I have deduced that my ultimate weakness is suits. This has surpassed blue plaid.
*It's the little things in life that are done or said that make me happy.
*Do not stand behind drunk people dancing on chairs at football games.
*Our student section loves dancing to "Crazy in Love" especially when we are winning. The student section is like another branch of the UCLA family, just the more dysfunctional part.
*Going to a football game after functioning off of a few hours of sleep the night before isn't always the best idea. It was really fun but even more exhausting.
*"Falling" back one hour because of daylight savings is one of the most glorious things ever. It's actually the gift of time, how cool is that?
*My fantasy football team kicks butt and I think it may set the alltime new record for most points in a week. Too bad that my Vikings had their first lost.
*After watching part of the Democratic Presidential debate, I like Kerry more and more.
*California is on fire. Prayers go out to the families who had to evacuate their homes, those who lost their homes, and those who lost loved oens in the fire. (More to come on this note in tomorrow's entry when I don't have a Vietnamese test to study for).
posted by Kristina |
10:26 PM
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Everything You Need to Know and Little Bit More...
My SoCalled Life
Well I have to give credit where credit should be given so major kudos to mon ami Kyle Terwillger
for coming up with the ingenious title! In case you missed it, its a play off of the TV show my So Called Life and the fact
that I live in Southern California.
Why Blog?
Where better to provide a snapshot of experiences as a young woman and
college student in one of the most unique places in the world. And where better
to rationalize the unexplainable, appreciate the goodness, and share my point of
view. This isn't my deepest secrets or a place for me to mope, it's just my
socalled life.
The Basics
Birthdate: June 7
Birthplace: Minneapolis, MN
Home: Stevenson Ranch, CA
Occupation: UCLA Student
The Academic Side
Major: Political Science,
American Politics Concentration
Minor: Public Policy
UCLA Activities
Bruin Democrats
USAC Internal Vice Pres.
Student Alumni Association
Poli Sci Research
University Catholic Center
Archives:
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